Navigating Sticky Situations as an Engineer
Navigating Sticky Situations as an Engineer
How a Meta Staff Engineer handles four common sticky work situations
Today, I have a special guest
, a Staff Engineer at Meta and a fellow author at . Sid exemplifies how engineers with great soft skills can level up faster.Recently, Sid told me a story about how he dealt with a particularly challenging situation at work. I thought he handled it extremely well, so I knew I had to bring his story to you. In this post, he breaks down four sticky situations and shares exactly how to handle each one.
So, let’s jump in and hear directly from Sid!
Hi there, I'm Sidwyn.
Over a decade as an engineer, I've navigated my fair share of sticky situations at work. I define sticky situations as moments of tension, high stakes, or where there’s room for misinterpretation.
A few years ago, I assumed I was trending well on my performance rating, given my progress and success across multiple projects. But during a check-in with my manager, I found out I wasn't. I hadn’t been communicating regularly, leading to misalignment and performance expectations.
Thankfully, I had time to course-correct, but looking back, I wish I’d known more about avoiding these misalignments and how to handle them.
As software engineers, we encounter sticky situations all the time. The ability to handle them becomes very important.
Four Sticky Situations And How To Handle Them
1. Misalignment with manager
Misalignment with your manager can happen in a variety of areas like performance expectations, project priorities & timelines, or just overall progress.
It is essential to stay in sync with your manager. This means not skipping 1:1s, keeping them up to date, and aligning project expectations.
For my weekly 1:1s. I share how I'm doing (emotionally and physically), what I was up to last week, and what I plan to do this week. I also share any blockers I’m currently facing and if I need my manager to step in and resolve some of them. This set routine provides my manager with enough updates and opens up time for them to ask questions.
In addition, if there are essential async updates posted, I make sure to share with them. For example, if one of my project updates has a tag involving the CRO or VP of Engineering, I ensure they are aware of it. This provides my clear visibility into all the work I’m doing.
Remember, your manager is your champion. They need to know where you are, how you're progressing, and how to advocate for you, so make sure you're fully aligned with them.
2. Conflicting team goals
Working with teams that have different can be challenging. For example, engineers are constantly at odds with compliance teams. While engineers are trying to ship products, compliance teams are trying to ensure the company doesn't get into trouble.
At first glance, these teams seem to have opposite goals—one wants to release quickly, and the other wants to slow down and ensure everything is checked correctly. Finding that balance can seem impossible.
When teams have different goals, try to find a shared goal and utilize that to see each other on the same side. This allows both teams to align on a common incentive and better understand each other’s viewpoints.
In this case, accommodate the compliance requirements into the product roadmap and set the timelines together. This ensures that the company continues to succeed by delivering a product that also complies with governmental regulations.
3. Teammate not pulling their weight
Occasionally, I encounter colleagues who fail to meet expectations. For example, an engineer I worked with did not make visible progress on a task for weeks. To resolve this type of sticky situation, I employ a three-part strategy.
Use empathy. Check in with them to see if anything in their personal lives is stopping them from delivering. For example, a family emergency or a health situation.
If yes, I thank them for their transparency and ask if they can still continue the work. If yes, I ask for a new timeline and mutually commit to a date. Usually, 50% of the cases are resolved here.If they cannot commit to a deadline, I work with my manager to figure out who else can do the work in the interim.
Give them a second chance, if they admit their mistake even if it’s not a good reason. E.g. they just “forgot” or “didn’t prioritize properly.” Everyone is constantly facing multiple deadlines, and I understand if it happens from time to time.
Escalate to their managers, if this behavior is constant. I typically contact their managers with a “Heads-up: X seems to be missing their deadlines, and it's affecting our project timeline.” Managers are usually well-equipped to handle this situation and will work with you and them to resolve the problem.
4. Disagreement on technical bits
From time to time, you'll encounter engineers with very strong opinions. These come in the form of “You’re doing this incorrectly. You should be doing it X way.” or “This doesn’t align with my team. You should fix it.” These opinions usually arise during technical spec reviews (async) or meetings (sync).
First, step back and take a deep breath to avoid a knee-jerk reaction. You’re probably not the first one to receive that person’s comments. You’ve done nothing wrong. Recognize that these opinions are just what they are – opinions.
The first step is trying to resolve it similar to what we saw with conflicting team goals. Find a common mission, ensure that both of you see that you are on the same side, and then focus on the technical problem together.
However, not all situations resolve this way. At my previous job, another engineer and I could not agree on a common way to measure success. Since we were working on similar projects, measuring them similarly would have made our data team's job a breeze. But after several 1:1s, we eventually agreed to measure success differently. We agreed to disagree.
By clearly understanding each other's goals, we were confident that we could measure the impact of our work through our methods. We knew the costs and implications of this approach and made sure to note them down.
Disagreements happen, and the main thing you need to solve them is open communication. Ensuring you understand each other is fundamental to resolving these situations.
My Takeaways
Navigating sticky situations is a key skill for any engineer, especially as responsibilities grow. Here’s what I’ve learned from Sid’s post:
Stay Aligned with Your Manager: Regular updates aren’t just about keeping them informed—they’re about making sure your work is visible and ensuring you’re on the same page. Treat your manager as an advocate by giving them the information they need to support you.
Find Common Ground with Other Teams: Behind conflicting goals you’ll often find some shared objectives. Look for them and align on a broader mission to reduce friction and move forward together.
Empathize Before Escalating: When a teammate falls short, approach with empathy first. Life happens. If issues persist, then look to escalate constructively to keep projects on track.
Embrace Constructive Disagreements: Technical disagreements are inevitable. View them as opportunities to clarify goals. Work together, but don’t be afraid to agree to disagree if it serves the bigger picture.
Mastering these sticky situations can elevate both your work and your impact. Stay proactive, communicate openly, and remember that navigating these challenges is all part of leveling up as an engineer.
Thank you for a great post. Subscribe to if you haven’t already.
 | A guest post by
|