Make It Easy for Your Manager to Give Feedback
It's your manager's job to give you feedback but it's yours to get it from them.
Many software engineers feel like they don’t get enough feedback from their managers. And when they do, it’s often too vague or generic to be useful.
Sure, your manager is busy. They have a hundred things on their list and six other engineers to manage. That’s exactly why you need to make it easy for them to give you clear, actionable feedback.
You have more control over this than you think. Here are five ways to get better, more meaningful feedback from your manager.
1. Set the Right Tone for Feedback
Many managers hold back feedback until they know how you’ll take it. If they think you’ll react negatively, they may soften it or avoid it altogether.
The best way to prevent this? Make it clear that you want honest feedback.
Tell them you’re open to feedback
Example: “I really value feedback. It helps me improve. Please don’t hold back if there’s something I could do better.”
Be upfront about what you want to improve
Example: “I’m trying to get better at technical communication. If you ever notice something I can refine, I’d love to hear it.”
Frame your request casually
The word “feedback” can sometimes feel heavy or formal. Instead, ask for “thoughts,” “input,” or “ideas” to make the conversation feel natural.
Examples:
👉 “What would you do differently if you were in my position?”
👉 “What’s one tweak I could make to improve?”
The more comfortable your manager feels giving feedback, the more honest and useful it will be for you.
2. Ask for Specific Feedback on Your Work
A broad question like “Do you have any feedback for me?” can feel overwhelming to your manager. It’s too vague. They might not know where to start, and they’ll likely default to generic responses like “You’re doing great.”
Instead, make it easy for them to respond by being specific. Ask about a recent project you did.
Examples:
👉 “What do you think about the presentation I gave yesterday?”
👉 “Any suggestions on the one-pager I shared with the team?”
👉 “How could I have handled that stakeholder conversation better?”
When you ask about a specific situation clearly, it takes them to that moment in the past. They are able to quickly visualize what happened and almost give you a live commentary.
3. Ask for Advice on Growth Areas
Feedback isn’t just about what you did yesterday. Think about how you can grow in the future.
If you want guidance on developing a specific skill, say leadership skills, then instead of asking generic feedback or advice, present a real challenge you’re facing.
Example:
👉 “I’m struggling with a team member who keeps pushing back on assigned tasks. How can I handle that conversation better?”
This gives them a real example to start thinking out loud. Their thought-process is what you need in the form of feedback.
4. Watch for Unspoken Feedback
Not all feedback is explicit. Sometimes, the real feedback is in your manager’s body language, tone, or subtle reactions.
Signs of unspoken feedback:
They hesitate before answering your question.
They say “That’s interesting” instead of “That’s great.”
They make edits to your document instead of adding comments.
Instead of waiting for formal feedback, recognize these small signals and ask about them.
Example:
👉 “I noticed you hesitated when I suggested that approach. Do you see any risks I might be missing?”
Many times, feedback is already there. You just have to pay attention to it and clarify.
5. React Positively and Follow Up
One of the biggest reasons managers hesitate to give feedback? They’re afraid of your reaction. If you get defensive or dismissive, your manager will think twice before giving you feedback next time.
To make sure you have that healthy relationship of regular feedback going,
Thank them for their feedback. Acknowledge how it helps you.
If you agree, share the actions you will take.
If you disagree, say that you will think about it more.
When they see you take actions, it really reinforces for them that you genuinely want feedback. And that you care about getting better. Next time, they might even give you some proactive feedback.
Example:
👉 “That’s really helpful. I didn’t realize I was doing that. I’ll keep an eye on it moving forward.”
Wrapping It Up
Most engineers wait for feedback. The best ones make it easy to get.
Here’s your action plan:
Make it clear you’re open to feedback.
Ask for feedback on specific work, not vague performance.
Request advice on real challenges, not broad skills.
Pay attention to subtle feedback signals.
React well to feedback, even if it’s tough to hear.
The easier you make it for your manager to give you feedback, the more you’ll get. And the faster you’ll grow.
More Resources To Grow
I wrote a guest post about Self-Awareness for
in . I recommend you to participate in the Thrive challenge and follow her blog.