Staying CALM Under Pressure

A framework for engineering managers to handle high-pressure moments

May 29, 2025

It was a busy afternoon when I got added into a Slack channel filled with VPs of Engineering. My name was tagged in a thread.

@Suresh Where are we with this long-running issue? Can you present a plan by tomorrow EOD?

Wait, what issue? What plan? I felt all eyes upon me expecting a response. My palms started sweating. My mind raced. I wanted to reply quickly with something safe, like “Sure.”

In the past, I’ve made that mistake. Blurting out an answer just to escape. Or worse, promising something I shouldn't have.

But after enough stumbles, I realized I needed a better way to handle these high-pressure moments without making rash decisions.

So I wrote down the exact steps to follow. And with a little help from ChatGPT, I gave it a nice name — CALM.

What is CALM?

CALM is a four-step approach to staying composed and making smart decisions during pressure situations. It stands for:

👉 Catch – Stop yourself from a hasty response.
👉 Assess – Understand the dynamics and the gravity of the situation.
👉 Listen – Pay attention to the evolving context.
👉 Move – Respond thoughtfully with bias towards action.

Applying CALM in real situations

Let me share how I almost gave a wrong answer but then used CALM to handle a high pressure situation.

Example 1: Unexpected Ask from Leadership

@Suresh Where are we with this long-running issue? Can you present a plan by tomorrow EOD?

The first answer that came to mind:

Sorry I didn’t know about this issue. Let me try and put a plan in place.

On the surface it seems like a decent answer since I’m giving them what they asked. When you look carefully, you’ll see two problems with the response:

The first part is actually bad. It’s showing negligence on my part.
The second part is where the mistake is deeper. How am I going to put a plan for something I don’t even know? How important is it compared to other things on my plate?

I just promised to do something without understanding it. My team is going to be mad for changing priorities. Panic again.

I need to break from the panic → promise → panic cycle.

Instead, Keep CALM

Catch
Pause before reacting. Take a deep breath. Look away from the screen. Hands away from keyboard.

Assess
Ask yourself some questions to build a better understanding of what’s going on.

E.g. What do I already know?
Yes, there are some issues with that process. But these issues were thought to be minor. This is the first time I heard from leadership about it.

E.g. Why did they ask about it?
It looks like some developers complained to their managers, and it escalated through the chain.

Listen

The question you hear or read may not be real question. Leaders often frame things in this specific and action-oriented way. If you only focus on that, you’ll keep getting swayed.

So, what are the second-order questions? What is the underlying ask?

E.g. My leaders want the developer complaints to go away. They want more developer productivity and less toil.

Move

Now it’s time to prepare your answer. Proof read and run it by someone, if needed.

“In our last meeting, developers raised several issues, but this particular one didn’t come up. So I assume this was lower priority back then. Do you want me to check with the devs if this has changed? We already have a roadmap addressing the top problems. Would you like me to share that?”

Why this is a good response:

I dodged a trappy question. I didn’t blindly say “yes” to a problem and a date someone in the leadership tried to impose. That would have been easier to say in the moment, but made mine (and my team’s) next 24 hours worse.
It shows I have a handle around the top developer problems with a roadmap, even though one particular issue escalated. It also showing willingness to adapt by being open to dig further and validate concerns.

Example 2: Escalation During a Major Incident

It was late on a Thursday evening when my phone buzzed. An ongoing incident had escalated to a critical level. A production service was down. It wasn’t customer facing but it affected some teams’ ability to deploy to prod. Their leadership team wanted immediate answers:

“How long until it’s fixed? When can we deploy again? We have a commitment for tomorrow.”

My gut reaction was to fire off a response with a rough estimate to sound in control. “It should be back in 30 minutes”

But I caught myself. This was exactly when I needed to stay CALM.

Catch
Before typing anything, I took a breath. Was I reacting to the pressure or responding with clarity?

Assess
I quickly gathered the facts:

The issue started 30 minutes ago.
The team was already investigating.
No root cause was identified yet.

I reminded myself: guessing would create more confusion than silence.

Listen
I jumped into the incident call, asked the on-call engineers for updates, and focused on key details:

What was already tried?
What signals did we have?
What’s the immediate mitigation plan?

Move
I crafted a precise response:

“The team is actively investigating. No root cause yet, but we’ve identified that it’s related to a recent upgrade we did. We’re testing a rollback now and will provide an update in 30 minutes.”

This reassured stakeholders without overpromising. It also bought time to gather real insights instead of making up answers under stress.

Why CALM Works

In high-pressure situation, often fear takes over. We tend to react instinctively rather than respond thoughtfully. CALM helps you stay in control.

Next time you’re caught off guard, remember to:

✔️ Catch yourself before reacting.
✔️ Assess what’s actually happening.
✔️ Listen to clarify before jumping in.
✔️ Move forward with a clear, deliberate response.

The more you practice, the better you get. And soon, you’ll be the one others look to when things get tough.