What I Gave Up To Become An Engineering Manager

The five things I had to let go to transition successfully from IC to EM.

Aug 29, 2024

When I moved from individual contributor to engineering manager, I knew what I needed to start doing. “Take the agile training.” “Set up 1:1s.” “Build relationship with other managers.”

I felt overwhelmed.

I realized that although my one foot was in the new role, my other foot was still in the previous one. I needed to stop doing the old things to make room for the new stuff!

What helped me succeed as an IC isn’t gonna help me succeed as an EM.

I was still holding on to habits and behaviors that no longer served me. It was time to let them go!

It’s like releasing paper lanterns into the sky to bring good fortune in the new role.🏮

It took me about a year to feel comfortable in the new role. I’ll share how letting these five things go eventually made me a better manager, so you don’t have to learn the hard way.

5. Building Things

One of the most fulfilling aspects of being an IC is building things—designing, coding, and seeing software come to life. Right before I moved into management, I was in the middle of designing a brand-new continuous integration (CI) system from scratch.

I wanted to maintain that hands-on role even after the transition. But I soon realized it simply wasn’t feasible.

As a manager, I had to switch from being a creator to being an enabler.

This wasn’t easy, especially after spending twelve years developing my skills as a “builder”. But it was necessary.

🏮What I got in return:

More involvement in the decision making and design process than actual building.
Chance to build multiple products instead of just one, with the help of my team.

4. Focus Time

As an IC, I could block out hours of focus time, set my Slack to “⛔️ DND” and dive deep into coding. That’s how I achieved flow state and produced quality software.

But as a manager, I quickly found that my days were now filled with constant interruptions and context switching. There is always something—or someone—that needs my attention.

As a manager, I need to be highly available for my team and my leaders.

My calendar filled up with meetings, 1:1s, and the occasional fire-fighting, leaving little room for long blocks of deep work.

🏮What I got in return:

Power to protect my team’s focus time
Learned to breakdown my work into smaller chunks of flow state - 30 minutes to an hour, here and there.

3. Fast Feedback

One of the joys of being an IC was the fast feedback loop. You write code, see it run, and quickly know whether it works or needs adjustments. This instant gratification was a huge part of what made hands-on work so rewarding.

When I took on the EM role, the feedback loop slowed down significantly. For example, I implemented a new weekly meeting for on-call handoffs, but it took weeks to see if it added any value.

As a manager, the effects of my work take longer to show any meaningful result.

This delayed feedback was frustrating at first, so I had to stop seeking the dopamine hit that came with instant results.

🏮What I got in return

Learned to be patient and trust the process.
Developed the ability to spot early signs of progress.

2. Conflict Avoidance

As an IC, it was easy to avoid conflict by focusing solely on technical work. I could stay in my comfort zone, coding away while ignoring difficult conversations.

But as a manager, I found myself delaying constructive feedback from this 1:1 to the next until it became a problem.

As a manager, tough conversations are unavoidable.

I realized that I had to address issues like missed deadlines, performance problems, and promotion plans as early as possible.

🏮What I got in return

Developed new skills in communication, empathy, and negotiation.
Learned that addressing issues early and openly is far better than letting them fester.

1. Short-Sightedness

As an IC, my focus was on immediate tasks and technical details. I thought in terms of sprints and short-term goals, which are more predictable and easier to estimate.

I wasn’t ready to think about the uncertainties around long-term plans, roadmaps, and quarterly goals.

As a manager, I had to expand my focus to strategic work over the horizon.

Thinking about uncertainties and resource planning was initially frustrating. But curing my short-sightedness was the only way I could look at the big picture.

🏮What I got in return

Improved at seeing unknowns as “black box”.
Better prepare my team for long-term objectives.

The One Thing

If you take away one thing from this article, let it be this:

For a successful IC to EM transition, you need to stop doing the old things to make room for the new stuff! What helped you succeed as an IC isn’t gonna help you succeed as an EM.

If you’re considering a move into management, you’ll be making significant trade-offs. The journey isn’t easy, but I hope I helped you to see what you gain when you’re willing to letting things go.

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